2008 Woodie Awards
Palin puts Alaska in the spotlight but not for the best
Teresa Combs
Issue date: 9/9/08 Section: Call to Action
A once largely ignored state is suddenly thrust onto the world stage. Out of the darkness, it has been unceremoniously cast into the spotlight, an unexpected and unsure candidate for such attention. People are trying to understand this strange, foreign entity. Cautious whispers arose from across the country.
"Isn't that the place where people live in igloos?"
"I hear it's total darkness for six months."
"They pay you to live there!"
Then, shuddering from the earth, as if being forcibly ejected from the planet's belly like last night's bad Chinese take-out, an accented, nasally voice penetrated the calm, vomiting forth broken promises and cleverly disguised phrases of conservative propaganda. With a permanent "deer-in-the-headlights" stare peering over wire-rimmed glasses, and a modest hairstyle piled on high to let you know she's about "Business" with a capital B, Gov. Sarah Palin has gracefully stomped and smirked her way into the nation's heart.
And the Democrats go running! Panic-stricken, they flee, scattering like cockroaches in a kitchen when the light is turned on. This was an attack completely out of left field. No one could see this coming. What could six years of being the illustrious mayor of Wasilla, and not even two-years of governing over a state that has nearly a sixth of the population of the city of Los Angeles, truly prepare her for this? Certainly, this could not be a ruse by McCain to try to woo women voters.
Hillary supporters around the nation are suddenly succumbing to the sheepish mindset of accepting McCain because he was so understanding and took a woman under his wing. Not at all considering Palin's views completely contradict that of a democrat. McCain's plan has women falling to their knees in praise, raising their arms to the heavens and thanking God for such a gift!
Finally, a woman who endorses the religion-based "theory" of Creationism, who earmarks money for laughable projects, who values diversity if it's only concerning conservative heterosexuals, and who would love to enforce her spiritual beliefs with complete ignorance of that handy phrase "separation of church and state," but who cares! It's a woman!
"Isn't that the place where people live in igloos?"
"I hear it's total darkness for six months."
"They pay you to live there!"
Then, shuddering from the earth, as if being forcibly ejected from the planet's belly like last night's bad Chinese take-out, an accented, nasally voice penetrated the calm, vomiting forth broken promises and cleverly disguised phrases of conservative propaganda. With a permanent "deer-in-the-headlights" stare peering over wire-rimmed glasses, and a modest hairstyle piled on high to let you know she's about "Business" with a capital B, Gov. Sarah Palin has gracefully stomped and smirked her way into the nation's heart.
And the Democrats go running! Panic-stricken, they flee, scattering like cockroaches in a kitchen when the light is turned on. This was an attack completely out of left field. No one could see this coming. What could six years of being the illustrious mayor of Wasilla, and not even two-years of governing over a state that has nearly a sixth of the population of the city of Los Angeles, truly prepare her for this? Certainly, this could not be a ruse by McCain to try to woo women voters.
Hillary supporters around the nation are suddenly succumbing to the sheepish mindset of accepting McCain because he was so understanding and took a woman under his wing. Not at all considering Palin's views completely contradict that of a democrat. McCain's plan has women falling to their knees in praise, raising their arms to the heavens and thanking God for such a gift!
Finally, a woman who endorses the religion-based "theory" of Creationism, who earmarks money for laughable projects, who values diversity if it's only concerning conservative heterosexuals, and who would love to enforce her spiritual beliefs with complete ignorance of that handy phrase "separation of church and state," but who cares! It's a woman!
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